Married heterosexual couples can learn a great deal from gay and lesbian couples according to the first published observational studies of homosexual relationships. "Gay and lesbian couples are a lot more mature, more considerate in trying to improve a relationship and have a greater awareness of equality in a relationship than straight couples," said John Gottman, a University of Washington emeritus professor of psychology who directed the research along with Robert Levenson, a University of California, Berkeley, psychology professor.

"Straight couples start a conflict discussion in a much more negative place than do gays and lesbian couples. Homosexuals start the same kind of discussions with more humor and affection, are less domineering and show considerably more positive emotions than heterosexual couples. The way a discussion starts is critical. If it starts off in a bad way in a heterosexual relationship, we have found that it will become even more negative 96 percent of the time. Gays and lesbians are warmer, friendlier and less belligerent. You see it over and over in their discussions, and their partner is receiving the message they are communicating. In turn, their partner is allowing himself or herself to be influenced in a positive way. With married heterosexual couples a discussion is much more of a power struggle with someone being invalidated." Gay and lesbian relationships seem to be marked by what Gottman calls "the triumph of positive emotions over negative emotions."

Dan Yoshimoto, a UW psychology doctoral student who worked on the studies, added that the ways gays and lesbians resolve conflict may be the glue that maintains stability in homosexual relationships.

"The overall implication of this research is that we have to shake off all of the stereotypes of homosexual relationships and have more respect for them as committed relationships. Gays and lesbians may be more competent at having a mature relationship. Our data suggests our society needs to reconsider its policy and that we should value and honor love wherever we find it," Gottman said.

The National Institute of Mental Health funded the research. >from *Gay, lesbian couples can teach heterosexuals how to improve relationships* october 20, 2003

related context
> UCLA scientists find genes organize male and female brains differently; research suggests that sexual identity is 'hard-wired' before birth. october 21, 2003
> sexual orientation 'hard-wired' before birth - startling new evidence revealed in the blink of an eye. october 2, 2003
> biodiversity include sexual diversity: extended concept of biodiversity. june 14, 2002

imago
> what do you both need...
glue, oil, or perhaps just adhesive tape?